Relational Labor: The Freelance Skill Nobody Teaches but Everyone Needs

Eniokos
Oct 6
4 min read

Updated: Oct 22

So, the suffering of freelancers as a demographic group is significant enough for Dr. K to have made a video on it!

In this post, I want to elaborate on the concept of Relational Labor that Dr. K talks about. It is not a new concept, but definitely not something that every new freelancer knows.

Freelancer A (single jobs) vs Freelancer B (repeat clients)

Why do two freelancers with similar skills and talent end up with such different careers?

Freelancer A seems to be constantly chasing the next project, while Freelancer B enjoys a steady stream of repeat clients.

The real difference often lies in what happens between the projects, and this is something that you don't see or are taught. The difference arises from the invisible work Freelancer B does that builds trust and familiarity. It’s called relational labor, and be sure to make it an essential part of your approach if you want to build a sustainable freelance career.

Relational labor is a skill few of us are ever taught, and behind the scenes, it actually makes all the difference between hoping for work and earning it.

Background: From Emotional Labor to Relational Labor

The sociologist Arlie Hochschild first described emotional labor in 1983, referring to the way workers manage and display emotions as part of their jobs.

Decades later, communication scholar Nancy Baym took this idea into the digital era with the term relational labor. She used it to describe the ongoing effort artists and creators put into staying connected with their audiences. The continuous, mindful engagement that these artists maintain actually sustains professional and emotional bonds over time. This is something we see in successful content creators.

Platforms and social media have for sure made visibility essential, but visibility alone doesn’t build trust. Trust comes from how you come across to the client, whether you provide consistent quality work, thoughtful and respectful communication, and understand and anticipate their requirements and fulfil them.

Relational labor, then, is about maintaining this professional human connection. It comprises an intuitive understanding with communication that establishes a relationship. Needless to say, being reliable and offering good outcomes is important. And remember, this approach will keep your name on a client’s shortlist.

Why Hope Labor doesn't work

Many freelancers start out doing what’s known as hope labor, which is working with the belief that good performance will automatically lead to future work.

Platforms reward short-term transactions, and it is natural for new freelancers to believe that landing these short-term gigs is the name of the game. As a new freelancer, I believed that hustle was all about non-stop bidding and landing one-off projects.

But, as you can imagine, hoping isn’t a plan. Hope labor keeps you waiting for the next project, while relational labor gets you regular and steady work. It brings you professional security.

An invaluable part of successful freelancing is earning trust. And trust, once built, keeps the wheels turning, even when the market wobbles. It also saves you so much time and mindless effort that goes into constant bidding for new job posts.

How to put Relational Labor into your approach to get Repeat Clients

So, hope labor is reactive, while relational labor is deliberate. It can be understood as a more intentional approach to work and networking. You make time to understand how your clients work, what matters to them, and how to make collaboration smoother the next time round.

Relational labor is built from small systematic habits that convey to the client that you value working with them, and they can rely on you. Here are some concrete ways you can incorporate relational labor into your client work.

Ask for feedback early. A quick message such as “How’s the draft shaping up for you?” opens space for conversation and helps cut down on time-consuming extensive revisions later.
Personalise communication. Remember preferences, mention past projects, and write with warmth. Always be professional and polite, and that may take some effort to learn if you are not used to it. Apart from your core skills, learn communication skills and etiquette.
Negotiate boundaries clearly. Polite clarity earns respect. Make sure the client's requirements are clear to you before starting work. I use discovery/client-onboarding forms to make sure I have some basic information on the project before proceeding with a discovery call. You can ask, “Would you prefer a faster turnaround or more time for polish?” to keep expectations realistic. Clarify the scope before creating the contract.
Follow up after completion. A short check-in a few months later keeps the connection alive without any pushiness. I let my clients know, “I saw your article went live; it looked fantastic.” Or "Congratulations, happy to see your book has been published."
Be super organized. Keep records. Note down tone preferences or project details. Attention to detail, systematic approaches and punctuality turn you from a one-off hire into a trusted regular. Use digital tools to manage the project efficiently that shows professionalism and efficiency. Be ethical in your work.

Clients will remember these gestures and will be inclined to think, I’d rather work with her again.

Freelancers who invest in relational labor enjoy more predictable workloads. It makes work easier because you have clearer communication. It makes life better because you can create healthier boundaries. Feedback improves. You don't have to be endlessly available or emotionally drained, and old clients seek you out for new projects.

Good work and good relationships go hand in hand. If you want to build a small freelancing business, and not drift about like a small boat at the mercy of the wind and waves, building client relationships is central.

Remember, behind every invoice, website or service is a person, and behind every long-term career are relationships that have been developed and nurtured with care.