Your heart is still racing, your chest and jaw feel tight.
There is a throbbing headache coming on. It feels difficult to breathe.
In fact, your hands are still shaking, and your knees feel wobbly.
You had an angry outburst just a while ago. It's over though. But you still don't feel alright.
If you measure your blood pressure right now, it will still be high. Same with the heart rate-which you can already feel. And the longer you stay in this zone, the more harmful it is to your health. You know this intuitively.
Why are you feeling this way?
When you experience intense anger or stress, your body undergoes several physiological changes driven by the activation of the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), part of the "fight-or-flight" response.
These are the Key Physiological Responses that took place:
Adrenaline Release: Anger triggers the release of hormones like adrenaline and noradrenaline from your adrenal glands. These hormones increase your heart rate, blood pressure, and blood sugar levels, preparing your body to deal with the perceived threat.
Increased Heart Rate and Blood Pressure: Your heart starts pumping faster, leading to a rapid pulse and a rise in blood pressure. This can cause sensations of tension or shaking in your hands, as your muscles receive more blood and energy.
Hyperarousal: During the outburst, your body is in a heightened state of alertness, which might include:
Muscle tension
Rapid breathing
Shaking due to excess energy and overstimulation of your nervous system
You can read more about the "fight-or-flight-response" here.
But it does not end there. Even after the episode or incident is over, you feel uneasy. These are the post-event effects.
After the episode, your body tries to return to normal, engaging the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which helps calm you down. However, the effects of the adrenaline surge do not subside immediately, causing residual symptoms:
Headache: Blood vessels that constricted during the adrenaline rush may lead to tension-type headaches or even migraines, as your brain and muscles experience an influx of blood and oxygen post-event.
Uneasiness: Elevated cortisol levels (another stress hormone) may leave you feeling jittery or restless, as your body gradually resets.
Delayed Recovery: The physical stress on your muscles and nervous system may cause prolonged discomfort, like headaches or tightness in the neck and shoulders.
Overall, this physiological process is how your body reacts to acute stress or anger, and it often leaves you feeling physically drained even after the emotional stimulus is over.
After an intense episode of anger or stress, for your body to transition from the heightened "fight-or-flight" state back to a more relaxed state, you need to consciously activate the PNS, which is responsible for calming the body.
How to feel calm again
Here are some effective ways to calm down and help your body return to normal:
1. Deep Breathing (Diaphragmatic Breathing):
Take slow, deep breaths, inhaling through your nose, holding for a few seconds, and exhaling slowly through your mouth.
Why it works: Deep breathing activates the PNS, which lowers your heart rate and helps reduce blood pressure. It shifts your focus from the stress response to a calming one.
Tip: You can use apps like "breathly", but it is equally effective to just try slow and deep breathing. Apart from slow and deep breaths, more structured breathwork like pranayams or modern breathwork programs can be very extremely helpful.
2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR):
Focus on tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in your body, starting from your feet and working your way up to your head.
Why it works: PMR helps release tension that accumulated in your muscles during the anger episode, promoting relaxation and reducing physical symptoms like headaches or shaking.
Tip: You can use Yoga Nidra audios, or Body Scan Meditation audios to guide you in this process.
The above two methods are immediately effective, if done correctly. They bring down the spikes in your blood pressure, heart rate, blood sugar, and muscle tension.
3. Mindfulness or Meditation:
Focus on the present moment without judgment. You can do this by paying attention to your breath or doing a short guided meditation.
Why it works: Mindfulness reduces cortisol (stress hormone) levels and helps reset your emotional and physiological state, calming both your mind and body.
Tip: You can use audios apps like Serenity, Calm and Headspace. I also recommend this book.
4. Physical Activity:
Do a bit of light physical activity, such as walking or stretching. Even a short walk can help.
Why it works: Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural stress relievers. It also helps burn off excess adrenaline and dissipates muscle tension. Read more ideas.
Tip: It is helpful if you can walk or take a jog in nature.
5. Hydration:
Drink some water or plop onto a sofa or a relaxing chair (or jhoola, my favorite!) with a cup of herbal tea (like chamomile or peppermint).
Why it works: Stress can dehydrate you. Staying hydrated helps your body recover faster, and herbal teas have calming properties.
Tip: This is a matter of personal choice. If you associate drinking herbal tea with calmness, leisure and peaceful surroundings, drinking it is going to be more effective for you.
6. Grounding Techniques:
Use sensory-based techniques to ground yourself. For example, identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
Why it works: Grounding helps pull your mind out of the stress loop and into the present moment, calming the racing thoughts and physiological stress response.
Tip: This 5-4-3-2-1 method is a cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) based technique that is extremely effective in situations of anger and anxiety.
7. Controlled Release of Energy:
If you're still feeling jittery or uneasy, consider controlled actions like shaking your hands, dancing, or doing yoga.
Why it works: These movements help release leftover physical energy from the fight-or-flight response.
Tip: If you already have a hobby of dancing or doing Tai-Chi or Qi-Gong, you will find it calming to do a few steps.
8. Visualization:
Close your eyes and imagine a peaceful place or situation, like sitting by the ocean or lying in a meadow. Some ideas here.
Why it works: Visualization helps activate the calming response in your brain, reducing physical stress markers like heart rate and tension.
Tip: Meditation apps can help with this. It is best to follow the visualization meditation with a short mindfulness meditation focusing your attention on breath.
9. Cooling Your Body:
Splash cold water on your face or neck, or apply a cold compress.
Why it works: Cold water stimulates the vagus nerve, which helps activate the PNS, lowering heart rate and calming you down.
10. Posture Adjustment:
For all these activities, assume a relaxed posture. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position, making sure your shoulders are relaxed.
Why it works: Fixing poor posture that often accompanies stress can signal your body that the crisis is over, helping it return to a state of relaxation.
Tip: If you try PMR, your body will get into a relaxed posture.
11. Journaling:
Write down your thoughts or emotions that led to the episode.
Why it works: This is said to help clear your mind of the emotional residue, allowing you to process and release tension rather than holding on to it.
Tip: Journaling is a slow but effective method, that can be used with other methods to achieve long term results. However, I believe that journalling negative experiences or thoughts require a certain strategy and guidance to be beneficial and result in healing ang growth. Otherwise, revisiting the pages will only aggravate the wound, without any healing.
This is an interesting article published in Nature, that suggests you should write it down and then destroy the paper.
12. Listening to Calming Music:
Play slow, soothing music (like classical, instrumental, or nature sounds).
Why it works: Calming music reduces cortisol levels, slows your heart rate, and promotes relaxation.
Tip: Music therapy is a therapeutic approach to managing anger problem, where such outbursts are frequent and impact your life and relationships. Read more here.
These techniques help you to consciously engage the body’s natural calming mechanisms, restoring physical and mental balance after a stressful episode. You may need to experiment with a combination of these strategies to find which works best for you. Once you learn these techniques, not only will you minimize the after-effects of an episode, but you will develop an overall control over such outbursts as well.
Recommended Reading: https://positivepsychology.com/anger-management-techniques/
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