My Journey Through Disability and Personal Growth

The Two Realms

Have you seen the movie The Others starring Nicole Kidman?

[Spoiler Alert] Remember how the living people and the ghosts live in the same space and yet, are invisible to each other, only occasionally sensing the presence of something they cannot understand?

Being disabled feels like being in a ghost realm. You may be present, yet invisible to the outside world. People suspect you exist but don’t truly see or understand you. In this realm, you have your own set of rules, which often differ from societal norms.

The phrase "career success" is always placed in a social context, I have decided. I want to share my thoughts on my personal "career success", which, for me, does not align with the conventional materialist definition of "success."

Being Good Enough

No matter how skilled you are, when your body or mind functions differently from the "norm," you end up working twice as hard just to gain a foothold. Be it invisible pain, relentless fatigue, or mobility challenges, our society often misjudges or underestimates us. The immediate reaction is to assume disabled freelancers are less efficient or incapable.

In truth, being disabled requires an inner strength that others seldom develop. Disability imparts lessons that no training course ever could. It compels you to become resourceful and creative. You must learn to plan ahead, adapt quickly, and devise strategies that accommodate your body's whims.

For many of us, budgeting energy resembles budgeting money. This practice is known as pacing. It involves compartmentalizing tasks, taking prearranged breaks, and evading the trap of "pushing through."

Nowadays, everyone is using reminders and timers for taking breaks, doing neck stretches, and drinking water. For a person with chronic pain syndrome, ignoring limits can lead to a crash.

Overexerting yourself, such as attending consecutive social functions or overloading your day, can result in fatigue that lingers longer than desired. You have to redefine your understanding of productivity, develop compassion for yourself for not being able to do what your peers are doing,

Understanding Pacing and Crashing:

Pacing and crashing are common aspects of living with a chronic illness. Many disabled individuals use spoon theory to illustrate this concept. You begin each day equipped with a limited number of energy “tokens,” or “spoons.” Every task, no matter how minor, costs a spoon. Once the spoons run out, managing your day transforms into a matter of strategic survival. Activities ranging from showering to cooking deplete your precious spoons.

My Journey of Finding Balance

I have cultivated strategies for working that harmonize quality with sustainability. This includes planning my tasks around good and bad days, using tools for ease or automation (I love playing with technology), and setting honest boundaries with clients.

This means my services do not include any expedited or urgent turnaround options. No matter what the offer, I do not do "rush jobs," which was a huge drawback in the early years of small-time freelancing.

Balance might mean engaging in focused work for brief periods or having backup plans for unforeseen circumstances. I have developed innovative productivity systems and organizational techniques that could benefit even those without disabilities! I frequently use automation based on Google Scripts, IFTTT, and filter rules of Gmail, for example.

To thrive in your life as a disabled individual, it is essential to listen to your body. In this journey, you also learn to listen to others and understand better the unsaid moments. You develop patience, empathy, and problem-solving skills, not from books or tutorials, but from real-life experiences. Embrace those skills, and count them as your talents.

Embracing Compassionate Professionalism

When you incorporate these lessons into your work, despite your disability, you present a different brand of compassionate professionalism. My intrinsic nature is such that I have never felt compelled to chase visibility or boast of quantity. However, grappling with disability and illness has necessitated a redefinition of what success looks like.

I now prioritize consistency on my terms, delivering value without compromising my health. As much as I enjoy to-do lists, measuring success doesn’t hinge on how many tasks I complete or how many clients I secure each month. In the early days, I often fell short of financial targets.

Success today means showing up for my clients even during challenging times. It means setting limits without feeling guilty and scheduling breaks before burnout hits hard. Success also encompasses delivering top-notch work without sacrificing my well-being. Success means having no regrets in regards to my family and clients. I do justice to both.

For some individuals, success may simply involve managing a few hours of work each week while navigating through severe fatigue. For others, it may entail establishing a low-pressure income source while coping with mental health challenges. Whatever is your unique situation, as long as you do your best, work with integrity, are there for your family, and take good care of yourself—you can call it your success.

Ditch Societal Definitions, Define Personal Success

The definition of success is fluid, but one constant remains: for disabled freelancers, success is deeply personal.

You cannot be "productive" by the standards set by able-bodied individuals. As a disabled freelancer, you cannot adopt the metrics of hustle culture used by others. Instead, you can design a work environment that respects your body, your rhythm, and your truth.

Disability should not be perceived as the opposite of ability. It represents a different kind of expertise and inclusive workforces must acknowledge, incorporate, and learn from this expertise.

To find success, first let go of universal success formulas. Define what success means for you and build a life that works with you—not against you.

I would finally end by saying that try to embrace your unique journey. Instead of viewing disability or your less-than-five-star day as a failure, know that your experience and skills offer invaluable insights that you can use to redefine your work, and actually redefine how you view success.